(John Speaks) how john and justin got 'taken care of'

Its a cold and windy monday night, some sit in their flats drinking tea and playing monopoly, other, braver individuals seek the sweet refuge of a pub and a match. Through the rain damp streets and gale force winds we press on, knowing that our hearts and stomachs will soon be warmed from the Irish elixir brewing forth from the bright and friendly O'Connells.

Bleary eyed, we enter the pub to the familiar crowd, the barkeep acknowledging our presence by immediately filling up two pints of Guinness, he knows both our sorrow and the solution. Once settled we begin to notice over the din of conversation a distinct and to our ear piquant dialect...BOSTONIANS! After losing in battle to these assuredly fine brethen's compatriots the night before we find ourselves reluctant to engage these foes without more preparation. But before we can arm ourselves with more reinforcing liquors the football match currently on the tele is changed into, we couldnt believe it, an AMERICAN football game, there very same game that spurned our enemies on to victory the night before!

An appeal to our friend and ally the barkeep yielded nothing in the way of support, apparently these Bostonians have made a name for themselves to be reckoned with and we are faced with a decidedly purely internal affair. After careful consideration, and the benefit of the Oracle-like knowledge divulged within via fine American whiskey, we decided to attempt to avoid conflict by simply subjugating our point of digression and , using our University knowledge of the art of war, 'keep our friends close and our enemies closer'.

The opportunity comes at the end of the match, a suspect kick by the flamboyant patriot kicker offers our chance to strike. The conversation begins amiably and continues to prove most pleasant. Singling out the leader of their cadre, we discover that he is an executive vice president of Wells Fargo. Gold! If we could only convince this powerful american to join our cause, to make him believe he is one of us! Through our careful negotiations we find out he is a fine Catholic, a proponent of the aged belief in the complete intellectual superiority of males, and that he likes to play golf only with people who dont cheat. Fine, this could work out. Just when we are about to initiate him into our loving and needy cause, he croaks that it is time for him to leave, cleverly buying a round for us and tipping the barkeep for putting on American football.

Alas! victory eludes us once again, but what was it that we were fighting for again? Oh, well, at least we got a good story out of it. Oh, and I almost forgot, a lesson in all this story telling...

I really should get a job...